Reggie was feeling more emotional than he usually allowed himself to be. Since getting to the island he thought he had buried all of his past baggage and gotten a new lease on life, but with a new life came new baggage. New feelings that ironically, turned out to be just the same as the old.

Since the threesome (and wouldn’t any guy just love that) with Tanna and Geralt, he was more confused than ever. Tanna had someone and he had not been to see Geralt since the whole thing happened. He had sent him stuff, but had not received anything back. Maybe Geralt already had someone. Tanna had Seth, her mate (and wasn’t that just awful).

He felt weak. Vulnerable. He had let not only Tanna, but Geralt touch him like that. Like he knew his best friend Matthew would have when he was fifteen if he had not freaked out and cut him and then turned him into a lycan in the first place. Reggie was sure he liked girls, it was the other half he was not sure about. Didn’t like about himself. Wanted to accept but was in deep in denial about. He was scribbling in his journal. He might burn the entry later, but for now it was all he had.

He sighed, putting it down after he was finished writing his thoughts and then looked at his guitar and his mini-piano. He went to his radio and played a recording of himself playing the piano and the violin. He went to his door and made sure to shut it before sitting back down and pulling out his acoustic guitar. He sat back, shutting his eyes as he listened to the soft tune. Haunting. Despondent. Honest. Reggie played his guitar, words spilling out of him softly after he placed his lips to his microphone and pressed record:

Have you ever been so lonely,
No one there to hold?
Pull me in or disown me,
And then climb inside.
My arms are open wide.
Have a look inside.

It is not that I am scared to learn,
Why I'm empty inside.
hold my hand or show some concern,
If I live or die.
My eyes are open wide.
Help me look inside.

I hear the water drip from the faucet.
It's sweetly falling in tune.
I'm gently closing the closet.
And I fall to the floor,
and crawl to my room.
The thought of ending it soon...
Just let me sleep in my room.

Beneath his smile and his easy going nature Reggie was still that same scared, needy kid he had been back in New York. Craving his father’s approval and his mother’s love, some kind of kind word from his step-father, the big man that had tried to replace his father in his heart; had succeeded at replacing in his mother’s. He still missed them though if they were looking down at him at all they probably hated him for not being normal. Inhuman. His song continued:

Hear me cry! cry! cry!
I hear a knock at the front door.
Don't come in!
I try to look at you
But I can't stop shaking.
Leave me alone. Just go away.
Mother I'm so scared.

But she wasn’t there to hold him. Even if she had been, his mother simply had never been the comforting type. He wished she had been. He wished he had been a better son.

He could feel his anger, his hurt. All those things, those thoughts, those feelings that had been brought up with Miyu. Emotions he squashed by getting high, by skateboarding, by dancing. Things he could only say out loud if he sung:

Empty bed and all of the sheets are gone,
They're wrapped around me and you.
All is quiet but the drop of a gun.

There was a long pause, soft sniffling as Reggie let the tears roll and maybe that was girly and stupid and the most unmanly thing to do, but he continued singing through it:

I want to belong...to someone...
But maybe life's not for everyone.

He was crying now, heartbreaking just as his he finished, still playing his guitar while the piano droned out, leaving no real hope when it finally finished. No happy ending or uplifting cord, just silence and Reggie still feeling just as confused and alone as when it had started.