“Hey Danovan, leme ask you ‘dis, is it possible to drool one’s bodyweight in saliva? Eh?"
“If you mean is it possible for a person to lose their bodyweight in saliva, then you have to be more specific and identify a time frame for how long the event should last. For example, is it possible for a person to lose their body weight in drool within an hour, or a day, or a year. THAT would be a question worth answering. So here leme ask you ‘dis, what in the fuck do you want Big John?"

Big John stood just an inch under six feet and weight all of one hundred and sixty pounds. Why people called him “Big John" confused Faith till a friendly co-worker informed her that B.J. used to weight somewhere around five hundred pounds and was forced to choose between a Gastric Bypass surgery or going on disability.Sad fact, but no one wanted a food critic who was the size of a manatee into their restaurants. And if the old adage that Fat people were supposed to be jolly, then Big John lived up to the adage that Skinny people were bitches.

“Chief wants to see you."
“Derek. Big John, his name isn’t chief, it’s Derek."
“Chief Derek wants to see you."
“GO AWAY John."
“You’ve drool on your chin."
“Fuck. You. John. Vehemently. Fuck. You."

And so it went, Faith insulted Big John, Big John just shrugged it off and munched his carrot sticks. Ten minutes later, with her insult guns clicking on empty and with a headache of planetary proportions, Faith was staring at the shiny forehead of her chief editor. Dark skinned with naturally slick hair, Derek D. A junior editor of the Hawai’ian Chronicle looked as he always did, bored.His skin permanently tan, shone with an unhealthy gleam under the mix of natural and fluorescent light.Something about that made Faith want to offer him oil blotting sheets from her makeup case. But since the guy didn’t like her one bit, she just sat there and tried to look like what a professional journalist would look like. Disinterested, with a slightly curious tilt to the head, legs tastefully closed, and her hands resting loosely incase she needed to suddenly start taking notes.

“So…It’s been a couple of months now hasn’t it since you joined us at the Chronicle."
Shit. Not a good start.
“Um, yes, and it has been a most wonderful experience thus far."

Without missing a beat Derek, nodded and reached up to run his hand over his slick hair.If he rubbed his face it that same hand…Faith wasn’t sure if that was why his skin was shiny or why his hair was dripping with grease.

“I must admit Danovan…"
“…Faith."
“Faith. That when I read your work I was very skeptical about brining you onboard."
“Why is that?"
“You’re inconsistent. Or rather you were. You covered everything, never sticking to one specific area, and that kind of disjointed writing can have side effects on the story…"
“Well in my defense…"
“…but I hired you anyway."
“Yes, you did. Would it be out of line for me to ask if you changed your mind in the time I’ve been here?."Shit, he probably had and Faith was now getting the “Sorry it’s not going to work out” speech. Double shit.

“Not at all, however, I am worried about your current track. Let me finish, you’re doing that finger twitch thing when you want to bitch about something."
“I do not twitch my fingers."
“Do too now shut up. Do you know why I had you cover the back page stuff instead of having you on actual assignments?"
Yup, you wanted to torture me you greasy bastard? You hate women? You hate mainlanders? You’ve a grudge against blondes, one too many turned you down for dates? You’re a sadistic son of a…

“Not really, no."

“I wanted to get you familiar with Hawaii first.Things happen around here at a different pace than the rest of the country. Things are a little bit more laid back, not as intense.I’ve read your piece on the vampire attacks in Salem, I think that’s what cinched the deal. We never had anyone here with first hand experience with the preternaturals and I thought it’d be good to have someone with an opinion from the other side of the divide…"

“…I’m sorry,I don’t mean to interrupt, but is that the only reason you hired me? Because I got bitten?"

“You’re a damn good writer too."
“Gee…thanks. Really, stop it with the flattery you’ll make my head go Kablowie."

“Can the sarcasm Danovan I’m trying to tell you something.Done twitching?You’re bored and I can tell, ice cream truck driver strikes and interviewing the local celebs is a boring beat, I did it, I know what it can do to someone who constantly bites at the bit. So…"

Que dramatic pause here. Faith wanted to leap across that desk and bitch slap the smugness out of Derek, but through sheer force ofwill remained sitting. Breath, she told herself. Breath and everything will be alright, air in, air out. Just like the joke.

“So…"

 

“So I’m moving you to the criminal beat. Lately there have been more and more police reports made and a few people gone missing. You’ve an eye for the dramatic flair so I want your ass out there pounding the pavement if need be but get me something I can print and out scoop those bastards from LA Times."

To say that Faith was shocked would have been an accurate description. She merely sat there for the span of twenty heart beats staring at that shiny forehead. Then an amazing thing happened.Faith remembered how to talk. 

“Just like that?" 

"Yes just like that, and here’s your first story. A body of a woman was found outside of a local club, Hookah something."
“I know it."
“Good, there’s a spooked eyewitness and a cop who likes to talk, they said they have a suspect in custody, presumably a lycanthrope but it’s not clear. Apperantly,  Marshal Redfern is the arresting officer. Name sound familiar?"
Faith just made a face and slowly plucked the manila covered folder out of Derek’s sweaty hand.

“Redfern? Never heard of ‘im. I’ll get on this right away."

“MmmHmmmm."
“Derek, have I ever told you that you’re my hero?"
“Get out Danovan. I don’t pay you to suck up."

With a grin to match some giant metaphorical expression for the sun, Faith was out of that seat and walking out of his office, pausing for a moment outside the door to give Big John the thumbs up. With her middle finger.Both of them, while clutching the paper folder under her arm. Hey, sometimes it wasn’t what you said that spoke the loudest.

-- Edited by Faith Danovan at 15:43, 2008-02-28